Damn, I’m A Writer

I’ve started and stopped writing a blog many times over the last decade or more.

Then one day, it hit me.

As I thought back to middle school, high school, and college, I realized something: I never really liked reading or writing classes.

Probably because they told me what to read and what to write about.

And unless it’s a topic that genuinely interests you, it can be hard to write about something. You can research it. You can learn all about it. You can understand the subject.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean you actually want to write about it.

It still has to be something you genuinely want to explore.

When I look back at all of this now, I can see a pretty clear pattern.

Anytime I was writing about something I was actually interested in, the words just came flowing. I could fill a page—or several pages—in no time.

I didn’t have to force it.

I didn’t have to sit there wondering what to say.

I just had something to say.

It took me years to realize that.

Then texting came along. Instant messaging. Short messages. Quick responses.

That was always a little difficult for me.

I like to explain why.

I like giving context.

I don’t want to leave people with a bunch of unanswered questions or give people room to make assumptions about what I meant.

Sometimes I know I could answer something in one sentence.

But there’s usually another sentence behind that sentence.

And another thought behind that one.

Even though I’m not a huge fan of public speaking, when I’m in a group setting and the conversation turns to something I’m genuinely interested in, something interesting happens.

The words can come naturally.

I can talk about it.

I can explain it.

I can connect different thoughts and ideas.

But even then, I still think I’m better at writing than speaking.

Writing gives me the space to get the thought out the way I actually want it to come out.

I can slow down.

I can think about what I’m trying to say.

I can add the context that feels important.

I can go down a rabbit hole if the rabbit hole is worth going down.

But there was probably another thing holding me back all these years.

I wanted everything to be perfect.

I was never the best speller.

My grammar wasn’t always the best.

My punctuation definitely wasn’t always the best.

And for a long time, I think I allowed those things to make me question whether I was actually a writer.

But then I had to remind myself: there have always been tools to help writers.

Spell check has been around for most of my writing life.

Grammar checkers, proofreading tools, dictionaries, style guides, and now AI—all of these tools exist to help people communicate better.

Even newspapers have editors and proofreaders. Writers don't necessarily hand in a finished story and have it published exactly as they wrote it. There are people and processes designed to catch mistakes, improve clarity, and make the final product better.

So why was I treating using those tools like it somehow made me less of a writer?

I had to learn to embrace them.

The tools are there to be used.

Using spell check doesn't mean I can't spell.

Using a grammar tool doesn't mean I can't write.

Having something proofread doesn't mean the words aren't mine.

It means I'm using the resources available to me to become a better writer.

And maybe that's another part of writing I had to learn.

Being a writer doesn't mean getting everything right on the first try.

It means having something to say.

Then working on how you say it.

Maybe that’s what I’ve been running from all these years.

Looking back at the blogs I’ve started, stopped, restarted, abandoned, and thought about starting again, I think I was trying to fit myself into an idea of what a writer or blogger was supposed to be.

Maybe I was overthinking it.

Maybe I was trying to figure out what my “niche” was supposed to be.

Maybe I thought every post needed to have a specific purpose, structure, or audience.

But the more I think about it, the simpler it feels.

I’m a writer.

I don’t know exactly where that will take me.

For now, it’s a blog and a newsletter.

Maybe one day it becomes a book.

Maybe an ebook.

Maybe something else I haven’t even thought about yet.

I’m not going to rule any of that out.

Right now, I’m just getting the thoughts and observations that have been sitting in my head for years out of my head and onto the page.

Some will be short.

Some will turn into deep dives.

Some might be completely random.

Some might connect technology to culture, business, sports, food, fitness, everyday life, or something else entirely.

And that’s okay.

Because I’m finally realizing that I don’t necessarily need to know where all of this is going.

I just need to write.

After spending years starting and stopping, maybe the point isn’t to finally become a writer.

Maybe the point is realizing I already am one.

Thanks for reading The Deep Dive!

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